saturday night!

my parents went to west virginia to gamble! house to myself!

what should i do?

so far i've eaten herring out of a can, which i shared with my cats. then i crawled around on the ground with them for a little bit. watched 5 hours of History channel, and while i am sitting here eating this fish out of a can ... i'm thinking ... how the fuck does this shit not go SOOOOOO bad like 3 days after they put it in the cans?? think about that, you go to the river, catch some fish ... have some extra ... stick it in a can ... toss the can in the cupboard. that shit's gonna go bad man! even if you scrubbed that fish with soap and water real good there'd still be something live in the air in the can or something ya know?

so i asked google "how does canned fish not go bad" ... google handled this double negative logic quite well and naturally explained to me everything i ever wanted to know about the canning inudstry.

the miracle of it all is ... after they stick the fish in the can, they COOK THE CAN! so that all the shit in the fish/can juices that would ordinarilly grow and grow and kill us dies. BRILLIANT. and since it's in a CAN, no bacteria from the outside can get in until you open it!

hmm... wait a minute. did we learn this in first grade?