"full body search"

I took an airplane to work today. After years of managing to avoid the big insane x ray scanners and pat-down searches, my number finally came up this morning.

First, I went inside a huge machine that sprayed me with puffs of air to determine ... my aerodynamic qualities? I didn't really get it. Anyway, I set off some sort of alarm and then they needed to give me a "full body search."

After they wanded me, patted me down, touched around my private parts, and searched through my luggage and all my belongings, they finally let me go.

After I was through security and on the plane, I reached into my jacket pocket to find not one ... not two ... but THREE full sized Bic brand lighters. They were my lighters. I left them there by accident, and they made it through the most intense security screening I've ever been through in an airport.

Fail.

But now I have three lighters.

Blog.