I Used To Be In Middle Distance Runner Blog

ewwww

2010-11-12T13:51:00.001-05:00

right now there are millions of bacteria having sex on your face

www.lohanmemorial.com

2010-09-30T10:44:00.003-04:00

www.lohanmemorial.com

PURCHASED. C'moooooooooooon, LiLo!

new desktop background time!

2010-06-24T11:47:00.000-04:00

cnn ad fail

2010-05-24T08:09:00.000-04:00

or succeed, depending on whose side you are on

seis de mayo

2010-05-06T16:07:00.002-04:00

pretend i posted this yesterday

dandy warhols - last high

2010-04-24T12:55:00.002-04:00

i want everything i ever record to come out sounding exactly like this

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GiZHmwzNAqE

science blog

2010-04-23T14:08:00.000-04:00

i am planting a garden and will blog about the science that happens

new desktop background time!

2010-02-25T19:12:00.002-05:00

new desktop background time!

2010-02-22T11:55:00.002-05:00

i have a drum set!

2010-02-13T10:05:00.003-05:00

it's blue. my mom will like the color. it would be cooler if it were brown though. brown is my favorite color. except for yellow or green.

anyway i have no idea how to put this confounded thing together.

also i feel like i am going to throw up puke

New Desktop Background Time!

2010-02-04T17:10:00.002-05:00

YEAP!

Me in 15...

2010-01-29T09:42:00.002-05:00

Photo Credit: Kreesta Burness

this is a great movie about a butterfinger bar

2010-01-26T14:31:00.002-05:00

heaven

2010-01-05T10:54:00.001-05:00

this is what happy looks like

hey guess what

2010-01-05T10:35:00.001-05:00

George Stepupoffofmynutsopolis

2009-12-11T12:07:00.001-05:00

WTRVCHC

2009-12-07T16:14:00.001-05:00

Here, you can see Wild Thing Rick Vaughn is demonstrating his ability to can haz:

hory shit!

2009-12-01T18:57:00.002-05:00

uhhhhhhhhhhhh

http://spiralandcircle.com/develop/Japanesecollectibles.htm

You get:
1 meat kitty

2 kitty shape bun

1 lettuce

1 cheese

1 soda kitty

1 soda plush

2 fries kitties

1 fries bag plush

7 pieces of fries plush

Even More Not Cat Pictures!!

2009-12-01T18:25:00.002-05:00

EVEN MORE JUST KIDDING!!

Not Cat Pictures!

2009-12-01T17:43:00.005-05:00

Just kidding! HAH

the grass is always greener

2009-11-27T11:49:00.002-05:00

X-TRA MOR KAT PITCHERS

2009-11-16T19:03:00.006-05:00

MOR KAT PITCHERS

2009-11-13T11:21:00.002-05:00

I'm Getting Roommates!

2009-11-12T18:17:00.005-05:00

LEFT: Wild Thing Rick Vaughn
RIGHT: Dorn!!!!

8 weeks old

hi

2009-11-09T13:02:00.001-05:00

hi

i went to sams club yesterday and bought a huge thing of cheez ballz

and 20 boxes of tissues

that's it

IS THERE A ... JOHN ... LUCK ... PICK-ERD HERE???

2009-10-29T17:22:00.003-04:00

NEW DESKTOP BACKGROUND TIME

2009-09-04T13:58:00.000-04:00

3 piece rain suit

2009-08-25T17:15:00.003-04:00

sorry i haven't blourg'd in a while... i've been too busy wearing this:

new desktop background time!

2009-08-13T10:38:00.003-04:00

beer

2009-08-03T17:30:00.001-04:00

beer that you drink is just your own pee that time travelled back into your mouth

2009-07-21T21:42:00.001-04:00

skinny jeans

2009-07-20T15:05:00.002-04:00

why are "skinny jeans" popular? They look like denim versions of the sweat pants your mom put you in in 2nd grade.

blog

google rooles

2009-07-10T09:34:00.001-04:00

why do people hate birkenstocks so much

2009-07-08T17:00:00.005-04:00

i've never owned a pair

they just seem like regular-ass shoes to me

but there always seems to be a really huge negative visceral reaction to their mention ... are they just one of those things that's 'cool' to hate (Coldplay, Long John Silvers, Khakis, etc...)?

i can haz wal mart

2009-06-17T10:23:00.001-04:00

NEWS FAIL

2009-06-12T12:50:00.004-04:00

Work v2.0

2009-06-09T16:44:00.003-04:00

Now with 20% MORE DENIM!!!

new desktop background time!

2009-06-08T22:02:00.000-04:00

an oldie but a goodie

2009-06-02T13:01:00.004-04:00

this is a digital recreation of a comic i made last year right before i temporarily lost my mind

brr

2009-05-31T13:33:00.004-04:00

boy it's a little chilly out there today huh

99th blog!

2009-05-27T09:35:00.000-04:00

this is my 99th blog!

almost time

2009-05-26T09:31:00.001-04:00

almost time to put strings on the old guitar-piece!

p.s. anyone have a drum set they want to give me?

I can communicate with plants

2009-05-17T15:02:00.005-04:00

So yesterday morning, I am standing on my back deck, drinking coffee, looking at the tree in my back yard. I'm trying to look at the bird feeders I put up, but the tree has too many branches sagging in the way of the feeders to get a good angle from the deck. Bummer, right??

So, I'm standing there, talking to Alexis, and I say "hey ... do you think it would be bad to cut down some of those branches blocking the view of the feeder?"

Alexis: "No, I mean ... it's yours! I mean, that's your tree!"

Ian: "Well .. but it's like, it's its own life form... I mean, what right do I have to just go and chop a bunch of things off just so I can see my bird feeders better."

Literally three to five seconds later, this happens:

The back of the tree started snapping ... and then it just fell off. It heard me .. and it appreciated the fact that I was considering it its own being and not just property of mine .. then it voluntarily decided to help me out by cutting off several of its own limbs. Once I clear those branches out .. i will have a perfect view of the feeders.

UPDATE:

Thanks, God!

xoxo
Ian

breaking hearts since i was somewhere between the ages of 19-25 probably

2009-05-17T14:57:00.004-04:00

I've come across a lot of hilarious things as I unpack the last 6 years of my life. One of the most bizarre was this Valentines Day cookie. I remember saving it and not really knowing why i was saving it at the time ... I am not even entirely certain I remember who gave this to me. Either way... whoever you were, thanks! I threw it away, but I took this picture to immortalize it forever.

Work v1.9!

2009-05-17T14:55:00.002-04:00

Work!

2009-05-15T12:09:00.000-04:00

i just bought a house

2009-05-06T13:41:00.002-04:00

ianglinka has gained a level!

ding!

/dance

/bonk

breaking hearts since i was ten

2009-05-05T17:51:00.004-04:00

My dad found this letter while cleaning out an old box of stuff in the basement. i'm pretty sure this was from between the ages of 6 and 10.

Apparently, i told her i "never could speak to her"

Too bad I don't remember any of this...

I am in Middle Distance Runner again

2009-05-01T10:16:00.002-04:00

(for a week)

no jokesies!

Friday, May 8th, 2009.
Fontanas NYC
time TBD

today, i ...

2009-04-29T23:02:00.002-04:00

...set up electric, gas, water, and tv/internet.

tv/internet is the most expensive of all of these.

new desktop background time!

2009-04-28T11:31:00.000-04:00

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA

2009-04-25T18:26:00.007-04:00

PHILADELPHIA [IS LESS THAN] PITTSBURGH

[LITERALLY] IN YOUR FACE

i own this

2009-04-24T16:55:00.002-04:00

i own this

2009-04-22T14:53:00.006-04:00

notice it is brand new NEVER BEEN OPENED ... you can literally smell the bubblegum

Here's a sample of what's inside: PENNANT FEVER MP3

you're welcome

ANOTHER WORFCOMICS!

2009-04-13T19:17:00.000-04:00

happy easter from the glinkas

2009-04-12T17:23:00.004-04:00

WORFCOMICS THE RETURN OF WORFCOMICS

2009-04-07T13:09:00.002-04:00

new desktop background time!

2009-04-06T01:47:00.001-04:00

more excel file 003

2009-04-05T23:51:00.001-04:00

this is about as far as WORFCOMICS got

more excel file

2009-04-05T16:05:00.001-04:00

more thre is more:

excel file

2009-04-05T15:56:00.001-04:00

here's an excel file:

You know what's funny ...

2009-04-03T11:43:00.003-04:00

At every major moment in history ... every war that was won and lost ... us rocketing into space and stepping foot on the moon ... there was one common thread: there was poop. right there. inside the human doing the thing.

for example:

HOW TO SUCCEED IN THE MUSIC INDUSTRY WITH YOUR SUBURBAN INDIE ROCK BAND IN FOUR EASY STEPS

2009-03-28T14:00:00.029-04:00

So you wanna be a big famous music jerk, huh? Good call!

First, a little Music 101... Just about all the music you hear is essentially made by a bunch of adorable little human beings running around out there coming up with all kinds of different combinations of the same 12 notes from the same 5 instruments. These combinations are commonly referred to as "songs." (Songs also have "words," but those aren't important so don't worry about that right now.) Anyway, this group of human beings is often called a "band" and often time there will be "whiskey." At the heart, however, are all these different combinations of different noises and shit (like drums and guitars and stuff).

Based on the bands I have seen over the years, there certainly seem to be a lot more "bad" combinations than there are "good" ones. Humans have been at this for 60-some-odd years now ... You'd think we would have ran out of combinations by now, or that it would have gotten old and we moved onto something else, but it seems like every year there are more and more bands successfully -- or at least moderately successfully -- rearranging these notes and instruments to make things that don't sound like total sucky turds.

It's really not all that surprising if you think about it, though. It's infinitely easier/cheaper to make pro-sounding recordings at home today than it was 20 years ago, and the internet has made traditional distribution channels almost entirely obsolete. The further into the future we get, the easier and cheaper all of this will become. This means the pool of bands pushing high quality albums will just continue to grow and grow as the population grows and the recording technology becomes even more available.

Even though about 80% of these bands -- and subsequently all of their songs -- are just bad ideas from the beginning, the remaining 20% of "good" ones who are coming up with (or reusing) the good combinations of notes and rhythms still makes for an incredibly staggering figure. Whatever the actual number is, you can safely say it's FAR more than the music industry can support, and far more than the listening public can keep track of with their already-short attention spans.

In the future, there will just be more bands / more good recordings added to the mix. The industry is already overflowing to all-hell, but it's only going to get worse.

I remember reading an article in a magazine a couple of years ago that said there were something like 11,000 bands in Los Angeles alone. Of course, LA is a little different than other cities (95% of bands are shitty as opposed to the national average of 80%) but that's a different discussion altogether. Whether this figure is accurate or not, there are definitely at least 11,000 "good" bands in the country all fighting for the same little sliver of attention from the people who operate the "famous" switch (more on this later).

Basically, in order to make this work, it's gonna take some money, some time, some luck, and at least two lawyers. It *really* helps if your dad is rich. If you can't have a rich dad, then at least make sure your manager's dad is rich.

One "comforting" thought: There will always be a new generation of 20-something 'scenesters' to fund the whole underground machine one pint at a time.

OK. So, here's the plan:

STEP 1 - QUIT:
Don't even try. Just don't. Quit now. Before you start. Don't buy that guitar. It's too expensive and in 10 years when you have to pay the daycare bill, you're going to wonder why you wasted all that time and money. Don't even read past this sentence. Just turn off your computer and go outside and play flight wheel. Seriously. Why are you still reading? You are missing out on prime flight wheel playing weather today you idiot.

STEP 2 - JUST KIDDING:
If you are reading this, then you've made it to step 2! Congratulations! Step 1 was a trick-step specially designed to test your level of commitment. You passed! Take comfort in knowing that you are a fully committed and responsible person. I guarantee you are now ready to become famous.

STEP 3 - OH SHUT UP:
Realize that you are essentially just a spoiled brat. You've taken it all for granted at this point. Your life is so much better than a lot of people's lives because -- i mean, look at you -- you have the luxury of playing in a band and recording near-pro sounding songs in your basement. There aren't mortars flying into your house or people running into your favorite coffee shop with bombs strapped to their chest. *Things are pretty good*

STEP 4a - GO GET FAMOUS (DON'T HAVE INSIDE CONNECTIONS):
If you don't personally know anybody powerful in the industry who would do things for you as a favor, then you're gonna have to get in line and wait it out. You're probably looking at a typical 5-10 year term on the waiting list. While you wait, you will need to continue coming up with new combinations of notes that don't suck. Try to make them different from your previous combinations and combinations that others have made before you... But don't make them *too* different. You make them too different and people will think you have "lost it" and your career will be over before it begins. Also, you should lug your ass all around the country playing to 5-15 people every night because once you finally "make it" you can say that it was all worth it and tell other bands that they should do that too because that's what you did.

STEP 4b - GO GET FAMOUS (HAVE INSIDE CONNECTIONS!!):
If you DO personally know powerful people in the industry then this is great news! Just finish your album, buy some new hip clothes (should probably get a couple of vests), and wait a few weeks for them to turn on the "famous" switch for you and you should be all set!

According to the Law of Lowest Common Denominators, as long as your song's chorus is audible and catchy coming out of the Red Lobster dining room speakers, you'll be fine. Oh, also, have your powerful friend get your song into a car commercial. Apple Computer commercials are also a good idea while you're talking to him about it.

OK now go do it.

the end

halloween costume 2009!

2009-03-28T09:50:00.001-04:00

i'm pretty sure i've settled on "the money you could be saving with geico"

MDR

2009-03-27T01:14:00.003-04:00

I had a real great hang out party with my ex-band tonight. During this hang out party we engagned in such dude-hanging activities such as:

-Hang Out
-Party Down
-Pizza
-Sodas !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-GUYS

Across The Univese

2009-03-25T00:21:00.002-04:00

so i get home and my parents are watching Across the Universe ... this movie made to beatles songs resung in obnoxious constant full-stage-music-voice the whole fucking way through every song.

we get it.

you've got a voice for broadway.

please stay on broadway.

bought a house

2009-03-19T11:14:00.003-04:00

a year ago, i was in austin texas drinking GOLD STAR beer at 11:15AM.

this year, i'm in my parents' basement drinking coffee at 11:15AM.

also, i bought a house.

Sesame Street just fired 60 people

2009-03-12T09:30:00.001-04:00

economy! woah!

Pittsburgh Sports Show Prank Calls

2009-03-10T13:13:00.001-04:00

I love this forever

THE BEST

RIDE BIKES!

2009-03-07T11:59:00.003-05:00

i rode bikes today ... that is to say ... i rode my one bicycle aimlessly around the southern hills of pittsburgh this morning for a few hours, and it was *great*

bess saw me out-and-about and texted to me that i "look like taliban on a bike" riding around in my huge sunglasses and lazy beard and black hoodie.

today's off to a good start!

nevermind

2009-03-04T23:23:00.001-05:00

not enough mirrors.

taking a picture of the back of a camera with the front of a camera

2009-03-04T23:21:00.001-05:00

i'm gonna try to do this.

i think i'll need MIRRORS in order to make this work.

also ... dave coulier on twitter

2009-03-01T00:04:00.002-05:00

http://twitter.com/dcooler

he only has 93 followers at the time of this posting... so either he is new and nobody on the internets knows about it yet, or it's a fake.

if it's real, then OMFG holy shit wow look what i found i am so smart, praise me.

eleven things i'm going to do once i become a home owner

2009-02-28T23:28:00.006-05:00

1. buy a lawnmower. maybe a riding lawnmower if i have a big yard.

2. buy a laptop, erase Vista, install Windows XP.

3. not watch "Two and a Half Men" or "The New Adventures of Old Christine" with my parents.

4. continue watching Nicolas Cage movies with my dad.

5. buy a drum kit, a Guild acoustic guitar, a piano and approximately 5 organs.

6. continue working on Star Trek: The Next Generation: The 256-Color Point-And-Click Adventure Game™.

7. organize my *shudder* itunes music library.

8. hang out with a girls on a regular basis that don't think playing board games on saturday nights is "lame"

9. do things that i want to do.

10. become the second-most improbable rock-star in history.

11. buy like 10 extra print cartridges so i can print tons of stuff and never have to worry about driving to best buy to get a new one.

until then, it's Two and a Half Men and home-cooked meals.

could be worse.

could be a LOT worse.

NICK BURNS COMPANY'S COMPUTER GUY

2009-02-19T15:26:00.002-05:00

Why the HELL can i not find youtubes of the "Nick Burns: He's Your Company's Computer Guy!" SNL sketches.

oh, wait ...

so *this* is what Hulu does...

http://www.hulu.com/watch/19050/saturday-night-live-nick-burns

electric toothbrush

2009-02-17T20:23:00.001-05:00

i think i'm gonna get one. right now.

who are the ad wizards...

2009-02-17T12:36:00.002-05:00

...that came up with this one?

new desktop background time!

2009-02-09T21:14:00.001-05:00

hey

2009-02-09T11:01:00.001-05:00

how come nobody wants to buy lukesteelerstahl.com?

cmon idiots!

also

2009-02-07T22:06:00.001-05:00

SUPERBOWL

saturday night!

2009-02-07T21:41:00.004-05:00

my parents went to west virginia to gamble! house to myself!

what should i do?

so far i've eaten herring out of a can, which i shared with my cats. then i crawled around on the ground with them for a little bit. watched 5 hours of History channel, and while i am sitting here eating this fish out of a can ... i'm thinking ... how the fuck does this shit not go SOOOOOO bad like 3 days after they put it in the cans?? think about that, you go to the river, catch some fish ... have some extra ... stick it in a can ... toss the can in the cupboard. that shit's gonna go bad man! even if you scrubbed that fish with soap and water real good there'd still be something live in the air in the can or something ya know?

so i asked google "how does canned fish not go bad" ... google handled this double negative logic quite well and naturally explained to me everything i ever wanted to know about the canning inudstry.

the miracle of it all is ... after they stick the fish in the can, they COOK THE CAN! so that all the shit in the fish/can juices that would ordinarilly grow and grow and kill us dies. BRILLIANT. and since it's in a CAN, no bacteria from the outside can get in until you open it!

hmm... wait a minute. did we learn this in first grade?

iHate my iPhone (go steelers)

2009-02-01T16:36:00.002-05:00

so ... i got a new iPhone 3G yesterday! yay right?

nope.

it fucking sucks.

first i had to download and install the 64 megabyte file for iTunes on my computer in order for it to sync contacts. this pissed me off in and of itself.

then -- i synced it with my gmail contacts. that resulted in about 2,100 email addresses being added to my address book. everything from to sarahallen@aol.com to info@deathbysexy.net (will, i think you're the only person i know who will fully get that joke)

then, after it bugged me to update the software on the iphone 120931208 times, i finally clicked "OK"

halfway through i got "error 13" (gotta love those apple error numbers! they're still spitting out the FUCKING ERROR NUMBER after all these years? IT'S 2009.)

now my iphone is a coaster. but a really expensive coaster! with the Apple, Inc. logo on it!

to remind me why i HATE APPLE

fuck this thing.

fuck the fact that i have a blog and blogged about this, too.

and fuck you for reading it.

oh

also

GO STEELERS

hah!

2009-01-31T16:47:00.004-05:00

i lost my phone about 2 and a half weeks ago.

if you've called me or texted me, well ... i haven't had the faintest idea!

it's nothing against you. i'm just not really participating in society at the moment.

except GO STEELERS and w00t Obama etc...

love,
your pal,
john mark karr

JONES IN THE FAST LANE ONE-CLICK PLAY INTERACTIVE WEB GAME

2009-01-26T22:02:00.000-05:00

http://rambo3.googlepages.com/jones.html

daemon tools shell integration

2009-01-19T13:32:00.002-05:00

i set up daemon tools shell integration today. it took about 4 seconds. it's gonna change everything.

also i ran into the stumpgrinders guy yesterday at the beer store. read about their band here: http://www.pittsburghcitypaper.ws/gyrobase/Content?oid=oid%3A26017

luke steelerstahl dot com

2009-01-14T23:38:00.006-05:00

oh yes i did!

www.lukeSTEELERStahl.com!

shamwow guy (vince)

2009-01-02T23:25:00.006-05:00

i hate vince the shamwow guy. well hate's a strong word ... so yes, i hate vince the shamwow guy.

you know, the guy who is like ... "you're gonna be like 'why did i ever use paper towels?'" and "hey you gettin this camera guy?" in the commercial. here i'll find a picture:

anyway, i was thinking ... sometimes i think a girl is attractive, and then people i unfortunately associate with will be like "ew dude what? you're crazy. you're weird. what's wrong with you ..."

SO. i'll bet girls are the same way ... like there's probably some girl out there who thinks the shamwow guy is hot and would totally do it with him. and that's fucked up.

also, what if vince the shamwow guy has set up a Google Alert™ for the words "vince" and "shamwow" (you can do that). he'll read this and get SO MAD !!!

haha what if i died because vince the shamwow guy was SO MAD and came and killed me?

but wait what if matthew leskos big book of how to get free government money saved my life by blocking the bullets from vince the shamwow guy's gun

wait ... isn't this how all [vulnerable popular cultural reference, for example Nicholas Cage, Lifetime, etc...] movies begin?

L0L

fuck you

RACISM!

2008-12-23T21:50:00.002-05:00

http://www.churchsigngenerator.com/

2008-12-16T15:10:00.002-05:00

CHURCH SIGN GENERATOR DOT COM

blogging about blogging

2008-12-14T13:44:00.003-05:00

blogging is not easy !! it is confusing and hard to understand, especially for old people. i want to tell you about it but the only time i remember how hard blogging is is when i have an idea about a blog i can make, and by the time i log in, i want to make a blog about my initial idea, not how hard it is to blog, so i am writing this blog on December 14th ... AHEAD OF TIME .. .so that one day when i remember how hard blogging is, i will think of this blog that i wrote in the past, log in, and post it to my blog!

ok so here it is:

The first thing I do to get to my blog is type in iusedtobeinmiddledistancerunnerblog.blogspot.com into my computer and then press ENTER

this is when things get tricky. look:

see, every time i want to click on 'create blog' BUT NOOOOOOOOOOOOO that doesn't do what i thikn it does. that's for if i want to make a whole NEW ENTIRE BLOG WEBSITE WHICH IS NOT WHAT I WANT TO DO. FUCK!

WORFCOMIC001

2008-12-14T13:18:00.004-05:00

i'm titling this WORFCOMIC001 because it increases the chances that i will be neurotically obsessed with creating at least 99 more in order to validate the usage of two leading zeros in my naming scheme. and i mean .. that means there would be 99 more worf comics out there, and that couldn't be a bad thing.

Star Trek Database & WORDLES!

2008-12-11T13:20:00.012-05:00

I made a database of every line spoken in Star Trek The Next Generation. So what?

As it turns out, Star Trek: The Next Generation is just the same 1,000 words repeated over and over again.

Then, I made several alphabetized "wordles" of this database (www.wordle.net).

TOP 10 MOST SPOKEN WORDS ON STAR TREK TNG:

TOP 25

TOP 50

TOP 100

TOP 200

TOP 500

i h8 twin draft guard commercials

2008-12-09T09:55:00.001-05:00

the music is crappy and i'll bet those things don't even work

funk dat

ME ME ME ME MEEEEEEEEEEE meeee MEEEEEEEE me me mE MEEEEEEEEEE ME MEEEEEEEEEE

2008-12-06T15:28:00.008-05:00

BLOG WARNING -- REAL "THIS IS ABOUT ME" "BLOG" BLOG CONTENT ALERT

#####################

I've got a lot of time-off coming up, and now that I'm not in a band anymore, that means I'm not spending every spare vacation hour running to North Carolina on a Monday night to play bass for some record exec schmuck who i've never met who is probably not even going to show up... not that I blame him. He's hounded by 30 bands and their managers every day, and they're all trying to get his attention and his record company's money. In a lot of ways, it's worse than the *actual* rat-race.

Anyway, now it looks like I'm going to be taking off from the 19th to the 5th. That's like two weeks. That IS two weeks. What the fuck am I going to do?

I'll tell you. I'm going to play computer games made in the 90s. Games I've never really played, but know I should have, and have been saving for just such an occasion... games like Quest for Glory, Laura Bow, those Indiana Jones Lucasarts games, at least one of the King's Quests, and the stuff Tierra has been doing ... all the VGA remakes of classic Sierra EGA favorites. And I'm gonna eat things like cheese puffs and Veinetta. And grow a huge beard.

In 2009, I'll emerge looking and smelling pretty much like Sarah Silverman's bald friend guy. It'll be great. Then I'll eat some Lucky Charms but only eat the oats first, saving the delicious marshmallows and a little bit of milk for the grand finale.

I might also build my very own successful airline business on my copy of Aerobiz Supersonic for Super Nintendo. You just never do know where and when the fun will stop with me sometimes.

What? you're the one that fucking read the whole thing...

signed,
me

clownpenis.fart

2008-12-05T08:13:00.002-05:00

i thought everyone knew about clownpenis.fart and their synergy-based investment banking solutions!

out of 3 people asked, 0 knew about it

that's 0%, people

http://www.gigglesugar.com/1965732

lucky charms

2008-12-04T17:37:00.001-05:00

i bought them

i own jesuscandles.com

2008-12-03T12:06:00.002-05:00

it's almost 2009, people.

how did nobody think to buy that before?

this will look good next to rockmelikeahurricane.com

...

WHICH I ALSO OWN

Pickles Pickles

2008-12-02T15:20:00.002-05:00

I saw "Pickles Pickles" in a database today and thought i would share it with all of you (Alec, Kiersta and Will).

signed,
ian

mt lebanon - the saloon

2008-11-27T13:24:00.003-05:00

some people i knew were going up there last night.

i didn't go. at first i was like 'man i should go'
then i thought 'are you kidding me, ian?'
then i thought 'these CVS-brand teeth whitening trays don't really fit very well'
then i thoguht 'i'm whitening my teeth so i can go schmooze with anne babish?'
then i thought 'yeah, i guess i am'
then i thought 'ian ... come on'
then I stayed home.
then i thought 'phew!'

the end

drinks are on me!

2008-11-26T10:44:00.002-05:00